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A filthy plague is creeping east into our city, polluting our once pure suburbs. They come up here to Dublin and take our houses, turn our pubs into filthy dives with crap music and alien sports.

They have taken our jobs and forced us to live in hovels in Clondalkin while they keep all the good flats in Rathmines, Donnybrook and Phibsboro for themselves. The Culchie comes up here putting his seed in the bellies of our womenfolk, breeding bucktoothed, red-headed, befreckled mongrels who are so uneducated that they cannot say "youse" but instead say "ye". We say GET THE CULCHIES OUT OF DUBLIN.

"Dublin" used to just mean your Grandparents were born here. Now it seems to me anyone who gains access to the city can claim to be from Dublin. Now the Corpo and the POWERS THAT BE have adopted an open-door policy and there is a FLOOD OF THESE SAVAGES despoiling our once beautiful metropolis. Presumably this is to win more VOTES IN this so-called deMOCKracy. The alien muckers have displaced the indigenous population to steal the future from the native children to hand it to the alien invaders. I met one woman who said she was afraid to open her mouth in her locality for fear a culchie might pounce on her.

IT IS A KNOWN FACT THAT CULCHIES HAVE SEX WITH DUBLIN WOMEN. THIS FACT IS SHOCKING TO US I KNOW, BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE IT AN UNTRUE FACT

Where are the IRA?
And as for the cowardly Republicans. Where are they when the nation's capital needs to be defended from these base, lowly cabbage-eared, incomprehensible players of hurling? I mean, have you ever been in the Palace or the Turk's Head. They're all in there breeding and threatening to take home something called "Sam" next year. They can't even speak our native, proud, voluntarily-assimilated language - the Queen's English!

Maeve. I meant to say Queen Maeve.

Media Control
And all you ever hear in the Culchiemedia is how they have no jobs but you let them up here to work on a building site or go to a University and before you know it they've brought up their brother and other so-called relations from Mullingar and Ballinspittle because THAT'S WHAT THE LAW ALLOWS. And who tells us these things? That's right? He owns them ALL. All of the "papers". And where's he from? I don't know either……Exactly.

The Evidence
In the past year the levels of Culchie, Mucker, Redneck, Muck-savage and country-folk-related crime in Dublin city have soared.

March 2001: someone presumed to be a culchie seen dancing on Dame Street around 1am on a Saturday wearing a traffic cone before being violently and copiously ill into a girrul's handbag.
May 2001: Man said to be "known to the Gardaí" is identified as a Culchie. September 2001: Galway win some obscure sports game in some secret little-known location on Dublin's Northside. There is such raucous celebration that local residents are intimidated into joining in.

DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU AND THE DUBLIN COLLEENS IN YOUR LOCAL AREA! TAKE ACTION NOW BEFORE OUR PROUD LINEAGE BECOMES DILUTED LIKE THE CULCHIES DILUTED THE GENETIC MAKEUP OF LIVERPOOL, LONDON AND BOSTON! REMEMBER: THEY MAY HAVE BEEN BORN HERE BUT THERE PARENTS WILL ALWAYS HAVE BEEN BEING FROM BORRIS IN OSSORY OR LONGFORD, OR POSSIBLY ROSCOMMON