Ireland to join NATO: Ahern cites "hidden agenda"
Ireland will tomorrow sign up to become a full member of the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation, Taoiseach Bertie Ahern today announced, citing a hidden agenda.
"A lot of people have been wondering what possible reason a neutral country like Ireland could have for joining this American-dominated military group", the Taoiseach told the Dail, "and the answer is that it is part of a sinister hidden agenda known only to myself and various shadowy figures, the details of which I am presently unwilling to reveal."
He added "I would like to assure the people of Ireland that I have their best interests at heart, but I must also remind you that it is in the nature of hidden agendas that they tend to help only the wealthy and powerful while covertly crushing the hopes and aspirations of ordinary people unfortunate enough to not be members of the shadowy, un-elected, infinitely powerful Project X Commission".
Seasoned observers held out hopes that entry into NATO would prove beneficial
for Ireland, while admitting that "Given that it's happening as part
of a hidden, potentially sinister, agenda, there is absolutely no reason
to believe this".