No Nose is Good Nose
Five employees of a well-known PR (Public Relations, or 'PR') company have been found dead in a popular Dublin night-club toilet following what the State Coroner has confirmed as, "a massive cocaine overdose of the body." The PR and advertising sectors have been rocked by the deaths, first blaming it on a number of 'alarming trends' sweeping Dublin, and then going on strike for a pay rise.
Gardaí reported a slight dip in cocaine sales and consumption following Westbrook's nose but a short time later, a marked increase in use among PR professionals, impressed by her cross-media splashage and intrigued by the gaping nose-hole's fashion possibilities, was revealed.
their futures up the face
Reaction has been swift. The trend has been condemned as a health hazard by Health Board officials, worried that increased volume of runny-nose fluid will leak unimpeded onto pavements during winter, causing nauseating, hip-smashing accidents.
despite health warnings from the state, Just Say Bo! and Concerned Mothers
of Ireland Action!!, youths and their associates are actively ignoring
all press-related material. The Smack-Tsar summed it up when he ashamedly
noted "it's just a typical example of no nose is good nose".