Sad Michelle tearfully negotiating
a book deal


That's what "evil, pure evil" bastard Steven 'Stevo' Maher yelled at tragic girlfriend Michelle Corcery yesterday, causing her to break down in a crying fit and then tell the papers all about it.

The shocking incident definitely happened, according to Corcery, and occured while she was trying to argue with Maher as he was watching an important football match.

He asked her to shut up, but she continued to plead with him to please pay her attention for any reason at all oh please. Bringing up the time he was supposed to go to the bank but didn't because the car broke down and he had to go fix it, Corcery then called him "a lazy bollocks who just sits at the telly all day watching it".

At this point Maher exploded in a noisy rage and blasted her to "Get the hell out of here!" while he was watching the match for fuck's sake, can he not get a moment's peace at all? Mother of Jaysus.

Now mother of none Michelle is at her wits' end, and doesn't know where to turn. "I can't move out", she sobbed through a lawyer, "what with all the factors involved. Perhaps some kind reader will hear my cry for help and somehow give me lots of money. Either that or I'll have to go crawling back to evil, pure evil Stevo. Which I'm quite prepared to do."

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