Bertie asks students for loan of a tenner
make that a score, would you
High-level talks between USI and an Taoiseach, Bertie Ahern dissolved last week when the Taoiseach asked student officials for ten pounds (8.51 euros). After initial shocked reactions, he doubled his demand to "a score" and offered as an excuse the fact that his auld pair would under no circumstances provide him with further monies "after last Friday".
A whip round was mooted, before USI President Julian de Spainn, sighing heavily, opened his wallet and pulled out a crisp twenty he had withdrawn from an Amiens Street bank machine only that morning. "That's the last I'll see of that," he muttered, as Bertie made frantic promises of repayment and hurriedly scribbled an IOU on government stationery, which contained childish doodles and, embarrassingly for the government, an unkind caricature of de Spainn himself.
A greatly relieved Taoiseach then retired from the talks, which had touched on an increase in student grants, a new loan scheme and greater union partnerships.
know where he's going and all, the bollix" de Spainn later whinged
to other officers. It then emerged that previous loans had been brought
to a nearby newsagent and promptly spent on ten Carrolls, a copy of the
Herald and a bottle of Club Orange.