Announcement by The Evil Gerald, Inc.
Wednesday, February 17th.
The recent launch of the Evil Gerald's online presence has been an outstanding success. Readers have flooded to the site, and we are already registering more hits than that ireland.com crowd, probably. But while we are very gratified by the positive response, we at Evil Gerald HQ are not resting on our laurels.
In fact quite the opposite. We plan to expand the website to achieve greater leverage in the content-delivery and info-glutting areas, and aim to establish evilgerald.net as the favourite web portal of Irish surfers by around the end of next week.
To do this will undoubtedly require funds of money, which must come from somewhere. We initially considered charging you, our loyal readers, for every word you read, informative or not. But we soon discovered that was impractical, and at best illegal.
instead we will be floating Evil Gerald Inc. on the American stock market
in Wall Street - the Nasdaq. We believe that given present economic considerations,
this IPO (Initial Public Offering) is the best way to safeguard the Evil
Gerald's future, while also making us extremely rich at the same time
into the bargain. So we would urge you, on balance, to immediately go
rush out and buy shares as soon as they go on sale.
there could not be an Evil Gerald without you, the reader. Or if there
was, it would have far fewer readers. Stick with us, and we promise to
stick with you until something better comes along.