replays show McVeigh was offside when executed
business owner disturbed by riots
leaders go on violent rampage at Creamfields
in brief... Teenager can't get enough ironic consumption... Nepalese traditional
dinner no longer to include gunfire... Taoiseach publicly criticised
can't get enough ironic consumption
student Ronan Lusk - who is so smart that he experiences all popular culture
at an austere, ironic remove - now spends up to thirteen hours a day appreciating
the delicious kitsch-value of whatever happens to be on the tv, radio
or cinema screen at the time. "That Dawson's Creek is so
funny", he told friends yesterday, "all they do is stand around
and say 'we need to talk'. What a scream. Speaking of which, I wonder
if Joey and Pacey will sort out their differences in tonight's episode."
He also describes recent blockbuster film Pearl Harbour as "so
lame, I only went for the explosions, really. It was worth paying £5.40
to see everyone else coming out of the cinema all pissed off 'cause it
was so crap." Lusk also takes pains to soak up as much retro-pop-culture
as possible, remarking "Remember Mysterious Cities of Gold? What
a funny cartoon. All those bright colours and hope for the future. I mean,
what a bunch of morons".
traditional dinner no longer to include firearms
Change does not happen quickly in the ancient kingdom of Nepal, but in
one aspect they're catching up fast with the rest of the world. Maybe
it's the creeping Westernization of the Orient, or the whiff of progress
wafting over the border from India, but for whatever reason, the people
of Nepal have made up their minds: dinner-time will no longer begin with
a sustained burst of automatic machine-gun-fire. "It has always been
a tradition for the eldest son of the family to burst drunkenly into the
room just before we all sit down to eat, and then spray the place with
deadly gunfire, killing or maiming up to a dozen", says University
of Kathmandu anthropologist Lyen Vo, "but now it's considered more
fashionable if most of the family isn't murdered at all. It's just one
of those things".
The whole nation is in profound shock today after a member of the Labour
party publicly criticised the Taoiseach, Bertie Ahern, suggesting that
his judgement in certain matters is suspect and that he is not at every
instant straining every sinew for the welfare of all the Irish people.
"I just think that at times the Taoiseach could do a little more,"
said Emmet Stagg to a stunned Dail chamber. "And perhaps there's
a case for saying that you don't have the political career he's had without
ending up a little, you know, compromised." At this, the Tanaiste,
Mary Harney, broke down and cried, and the Taoiseach Bertie Ahern beat
his own breast and cried "after all I've done for this miserable
country!". Brian Cowen ran across the chamber floor and grabbed Stagg
by the lapels, yelling "You're not fit to lick his boots, you insect!
The Dail was adjourned until Tuesday.