"Let's get married", taunts boxer

Horses to go under the e-hammer

jimmy joyces giddyguide to dublindabblin

Tears as 2fm DJ admits "I'm not American."

Mother of twelve celebrates Lotto ticket

Terror in Belfast as children stalk the streets

Ireland - Holland: Pundits agree competence key to success

Millions massacred in horrorscope shocker

News in Brief: Woods slams classroom chatterboxes...Man sets "thankyou" record...Chaos as tourists return from Ireland


Terror in America ...
Timeline 11 Sept 2001

9:00 am World Trade Centre struck by airliners.

9:01 am Sky News clears schedules for next year.

9:15 am President Bush informed. "Where was Superman?", he asks. "Oh yeah? Well he better get right outta that hospital, and fast!"

9:48 am Share prices tumble across America. Also some death.

10:07 am Plane crashes into Pentagon.

10:35 am Oliver Stone movie goes into pre-production.

11:32 am FBI Special Agent Mulder announces that Twin Towers attacks were just a ploy to distract public from attack on Pentagon.

12:02 pm No rock stars confirmed dead yet.

12:58 pm Attacks on Wall Street, Pentagon "A strike against democracy", says Bush.

14:00 pm Blair - "Just tell me what to do".

14:12 pm Taoiseach Ahern offers America the loan of his car, if they need it.

16:13 pm Osama bin Laden whistles nonchalantly, looks at watch.




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