"Let's get married", taunts boxer Horses to go under the e-hammer jimmy joyces giddyguide to dublindabblin Tears as 2fm DJ admits "I'm not American." Mother of twelve celebrates Lotto ticket Terror in Belfast as children stalk the streets Ireland - Holland: Pundits agree competence key to success Millions massacred in horrorscope shocker News in Brief: Woods slams classroom chatterboxes...Man sets "thankyou" record...Chaos as tourists return from Ireland		Terror in America ... Timeline 11 Sept 2001 9:00 am World Trade Centre struck by airliners. 9:01 am Sky News clears schedules for next year. 9:15 am President Bush informed. "Where was Superman?", he asks. "Oh yeah? Well he better get right outta that hospital, and fast!" 9:48 am Share prices tumble across America. Also some death. 10:07 am Plane crashes into Pentagon. 10:35 am Oliver Stone movie goes into pre-production. 11:32 am FBI Special Agent Mulder announces that Twin Towers attacks were just a ploy to distract public from attack on Pentagon. 12:02 pm No rock stars confirmed dead yet. 12:58 pm Attacks on Wall Street, Pentagon "A strike against democracy", says Bush. 14:00 pm Blair - "Just tell me what to do". 14:12 pm Taoiseach Ahern offers America the loan of his car, if they need it. 16:13 pm Osama bin Laden whistles nonchalantly, looks at watch.

 

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