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Tears as 2fm DJ admits
"I'm not American"

There were harrowing scenes last Saturday when veteran Irish radio DJ Dusty Rhodes broke down during a Beat on the Street in Borris-in-Ossory. Rhodes had just finished spinning fellow 2fm jock Mark McCabe's "Maniac" and was about to play Christina Aguilera's "Genie in a Bottle" when he let out a stream of sobs and admitted to a shocked crowd of teenyboppers aged seven to fourteen "My whole life has been a lie. I've never even been to America, Baby!!!!"

Funky yeah
The reason for Rhodes affecting a poor faux-American accent for his DJing is unknown, but it is believed things came to a head last week when he received a call from a US promoter. "I just had to 'fess up, maan," Rhodes told The Evil Gerald later in an exclusive candid interview. "This guy just started laughing at me, yyyeeeaaahhh!!!" "I could barely keep it together on the radio show later that day. Coooolll yyeahhh!!!!!!" "I mean I nearly broke into a normal Dublin accent at one stage. Funky yeah!!!"

"I'm emotionally shattered. My career as a prime-time DJ is in tatters, baaybeee!!! But I've already received some pretty lucretive telesales offers."




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