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Ireland to join Nato: Ahern cites 'Hidden Agenda'
Ireland will tomorrow sign up to become a full member of the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation, Taoiseach Bertie Ahern today announced, citing a hidden agenda.

What's a referendum?

  Strong growth forecast in 'rich prick' sector Although the entire country has been enjoying the benefits of the of the recent economic boom, nowhere is the feelgood factor more evident than in the evergrowing population of rich pricks.

  "Thanks, IRA!", say Ulster's Catholics
-30 years of steadfast defence from Brits 'really appreciated'.
The 600,000 Catholics of Northern Ireland this afternoon paid grateful tribute to their staunch defenders through thirty years of constant British attacks, the IRA.

Don't mention it
  Opinion - Felix Says
Our celebrated columnist and part-time 'man of the people' takes fat-cats to task, exposes the absurdity of modern life, and otherwise whimsically wastes everyone's time.

Mad uncle rant
  A new poem by the great Wheezy
As part of our continuing commitment to supporting the arts and all that, the Evil Gerald is proud and delighted to present this brand-new poem by that enchanting, magical, etc. poet Seamus Wheezy.

Doesn't even rhyme
  Gelatinous McAnimate's Social Diary
Let the man through, he's got celebrity gossip!