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in this issue New variant CJH disease discovered Make the cool choices with our special feature 'Smokes' actually cigarettes, say scientists Foot n Mouth decimates tourism and boredom thresholds Corrs accidentally release new album News in Brief: Bono, Elvis Costello, Highlighters, Lack of Rioting, striking students, etc. Dot.com billionaire offers to buy the world a coke |
Taliban
to close ministry of culture -'Not much point anymore' -St. Patrick's Day parade in Kabul cancelled -Bush government begins destroying Disneyland The Islamic fundamentalist Taliban government of Afghanistan has announced that it has decided to close its Ministry of Culture and Tourism, as "there didn't seem much point keeping it open, really". The announcement comes on the heels of the recent destruction by Taliban military forces of two giant statues of Buddha in the Bamiyan province, the closure of several circuses and fairgrounds (5,000 carousel operators have been instructed to seek new employment) and, most controversial of all, the cancellation of this year's St. Patrick's Day parade in the capital Kabul. It is the latter which has incensed Irish-Afghanistani community leaders, who see the annual festival as a celebration of their cultural ties to both countries. And the parade, with its mix of green-clad leprechauns and cavorting papier-mache-headed Macnas dancers, has long been a favourite of Kabul's large population of the insane and/or blind. But now the austere Taliban government, with it's austere leader Mullah Omar's professed dislike of 'idolatry' and 'cod-Irish whimsy', has put an end to the parade, and with it the last reason for the continued existence of the beleaguered Ministry of Culture and Tourism. In
related news, it has been revealed that George W. Bush's fundamentalist
Christian government in America has been inspired by the Taliban's example,
and is planning to "bomb the fuck" out of Disneyland, Florida.
Surprisingly, though, this has provoked absolutely no condemnation from
human rights groups around the world. |
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