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Corrections and Clarifications

 

Extended suffrage and an appearance on Questions and
Answers are just two of the radical proposals for Ireland's street dogs following the dramatic revelation that they "knew all along".


Some dogs in the street: keeping schtum
on Tribunals so far

The homeless hounds stunned even seasoned hacks by revealing the shocking depth of their political, social and entertainment business knowledge. Said Eamonn Dunphy: "This news is staggering. Not only do these dogs claim to have known about CJ's shenanigans since as far back as the early 80's - something which will push people's credulity to the limit- they also have very interesting things to say about Ronan Keating, Denis O'Brien and the organisers of the Rose of Tralee competition."

What the dogs on the street are saying:
Bizarre - Lorraine Keane's cucumber fetish
Tragic - Gavin Lamb Murphy is only 5% human
Despicable - Bibi Baskin

The mongrels' skills in political analysis and their exhaustive knowledge of the personal and sexual habits of many Irish celebrities mean they will be in hot demand on the pundit circuit during next year's general election.

The dogs have released a statement through their newly-formed organisation, the Federation for Equal Treatment of Canines and Humans (FETCH), saying "It is a sad fact of Irish life that stray dogs have rarely been consulted for their opinion on political and cultural matters, despite the ignorance of the public on many of these issues. We strongly believe that in the immediate future homeless dogs will occupy a cherished position as the country's most forthright, erudite and insightful political analysts."

 
 

 

 

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