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Amazing film extravanzer!

It's hold on to your eyeballs time as we give you the low-down on all the latest movie news, with your guide, our film critic Bevan Faye.

Hi folks. Come with me (Bevan Faye) as I give you the low-down on all the latest movie news. It's hold on to your eyeballs time!

Wow! The shattering events of September 11th continue to rock the film world: As if Sharia law wasn't enough to put the kibosh on Afghanistan's film industry, the attacks launched by the USA! And GREAT Britain! Have changed the film landscape of Afghanistan! forever!

The only minister of Afghanistan outside the country, Ahmmad Shah Masoud, announced yesterday that the Ahmed bin Rashid Rashman Aktoudi, the biggest-grossing film star in Kandahar, is postponing his next blockbuster! INTENDED CASUALTIES indefinitely.

Aktoudi explains: "How can we go on making the same films we have always made? When a terrorist takes over a building and/or aeroplane; the audience wants them to win - but, now, our brightest and best terrorists are dead. Also, the landscape of our greatest city, Kabul, is forever changed because we have faced the reality of our own media."

Taliban law states that you may not show living things, adding more pressure to Afghani filmmakers - "With no buildings left standing - how can we film anything at all now?" says Shah Mohammed Ramani. "Really, I had a beautiful film - it had everything - an arranged-marriage interest with a mysterious woman behind many veils, a terrorist takeover of the plane, and a happy ending when they all slam into a building in infidel America. Now, I can't use any of it."

"Still," says Aktoudi "look out for my next movie PLAGUE!, coming to a cinema, post office or public service building near you soon."




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