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Also in this issue Scientists discover gene for gullibiltiy - Evil Gerald exclusive! Irish potheads hail drug smuggling successes. JJ72 / Met Éireann feud escalates. New 'e-tailing' site not a waste of time - shocker Intel acquires Catholic church in $9.6bn take-over Old lady cautioned for punching children. We ask: is nothing sacred? Editorial - something must be done! |
Foot
and Mouth epidemic to set cartooning back ten years
My God, the profession's most dreaded news outbreak has broken and according to Top Pundits, the Foot and Mouth epidemic is going to "set the cartooning industry back ten years due to an infestation of cheap Foot and Mouth jokes". "We hoped and prayed it would never happen but it did," said Kronk, president of the Cartoonists for Purity organisation, "across Europe we've seen a downward spiral of humour quality in cartoons and it's directly related to the lack of control and safety measures regarding this disease."
Mr. Kronk continued to explain how the phrase 'foot and mouth' can all too easily be replaced for 'foot-in-mouth' with the appropriate drawing of a politician or minister or other public figure with his or someone else's foot in his mouth (example above). "Then there's the 'Cowen Curve', as we call it - when the stupidity curve and the dumb-looking-politician curves intersect, we see a saturation of drawings of key politicians not knowing the difference between various limbs of the body, which can explain the 'foot-in-mouth' phenomenon." Concerned Punter, Billy Skeffington, a completely unrelated person, expressed dismay at the recent outbreak but warned against the burning of cartoonists at this early stage. "I blame the politicians for not handling the disease fast enough and, like, the cartoonists can't be blamed for an easy idea, y'know like. Actually, I hardly ever get their jokes but since the foot and mouth, I might even buy The Phoenix." An aide to Taoiseach, Mr Bertie Ahern, admitted that the evidence for the Cowen Curve theory was almost unassailable and categorically stated that the Taoiseach is doing everything in his power to prevent himself from being represented as a sheep. "That'd
be sweet, "said Kronk in response to the Aide's statement, "but
it hasn't reached critical mass just yet but if the government fails to
contain Foot and Mouth, the whole cartooning profession will go down the
tubes like Britain has."
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