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Also in this issue Scientists discover gene for gullibiltiy - Evil Gerald exclusive! Irish potheads hail drug smuggling successes. JJ72 / Met Éireann feud escalates. New 'e-tailing' site not a waste of time - shocker Intel acquires Catholic church in $9.6bn take-over Old lady cautioned for punching children. We ask: is nothing sacred? Editorial - something must be done! |
Ireland's newest website, about to be launched as soon a server falls off the back of a lorry, is set to revolutionise e-commerce within the European Union. Scam.ie is intended to compete with websites such as ebay.com and ebid.ie, offering huge reductions for top, in-demand merchandise. "De idea came about last year when we realised dat 'legitimate businessmen' (at this point, miming quotation marks with his fingers) had nowhere to advertise dere goods," said Scam.ie CEO Mick 'The Fix' McGibbon. "Our new Internet website is gonna change 'de lives of these struggling businessmen", he added (This time not miming with his fingers). The website will sell everything from top designer brand suits and sportswear to tobacco, tobacco paraphernalia and high-class electronics for unbeatable, knockdown prices. "We're aiming more for de Power City end of de market - we'll be practically giving dese tings away", says McGibbon "De difference between us and bigger auction sites is dat we won't be asking for much personal info - dose sites are secure to de point where potential customers couldn't be bothered completing dere orders," he continued. "We won't even ask where de merchandise comes from". Tánaiste Mary Harney welcomed the new site and declared it as a confirmation of the ever-developing Irish entrepreneurial spirit. "Finally, a group of resourceful individuals have put to practice everything the Irish political parties have been doing for years", she glowed. Scam.ie's deals certainly seem unbeatable; the auction site will feature scores of keenly priced, mostly genuine, tracksuits and football strips, other offers include "Carroll's fags - three boxes for fifty", and one outstanding offer, "original Playstation 2 box, mint condition - £260", demonstrates at a stroke the potential dent it could put in Europe's other e-tailers. Some people have questioned the legitimacy of Scam.ie but CEO Mick 'The Fix' defends his site as purely positive force in the Irish marketplace, shifting nervously before maintaining "It's not like this stuff has fallen off the back of a lorry or anything".
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