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Also in this issue Scientists discover gene for gullibiltiy - Evil Gerald exclusive! Irish potheads hail drug smuggling successes. JJ72 / Met Éireann feud escalates. New 'e-tailing' site not a waste of time - shocker Intel acquires Catholic church in $9.6bn take-over Old lady cautioned for punching children. We ask: is nothing sacred? Editorial - something must be done! |
Announcement by the Evil Gerald, Inc. Wednesday, March 7th. It is hard to believe that it was only a couple of weeks ago that we wrote to you, the reader, to inform you of our plans to take the Evil Gerald (and it's e-news branch, evilgerald.net) onto the NASDAQ share index. We hoped the move would raise some much-needed capital and ensure the organisation's survival without having to resort to flogging it to Sir Dr AJF O'Reilly. Little did we suspect that we'd all end up rich, rich beyond our wildest dreams! Yes, it's true. The floatation of the Evil Gerald was a roar-away success! The company went public at 9.00am on Monday 5th March. As you can see from the graphic below, shares took a little dip at about half-ten in the morning, before forging manfully ahead throughout the afternoon to finish on a virile $507 3/8 per share, giving us a total market capitalization of about $600m, give or take.
We are sure you, the reader, will forgive us for getting a little excited at this. Needless to say there was something of a celebration that night! And when we tell you that we all rushed out the next day to buy new cars, clothes, spouses and warplanes, we think you'll forgive us a little exuberance. Because this can only be good news for the independent media in Ireland and across the world. Building on the rock-solid foundation of our share valuation, we can begin to aggressively expand into content-providing areas undreamt of by even the most fanciful 'new economy' tycoon! You, the reader, can expect many imrovements and ostentatious frivolities from now on, such as extra celebrity columnists (Cooking with Brooking, for example), lush interactive news articles, and of course a solid gold typeface. Let the good times roll! The Board of Directors
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