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US President George Bush today addressed the nation and announced details of the forthcoming massive war, to be fought in some or all of the world's countries over the next few decades or until the end of civilisation, whichever comes first.

"This attack on our country cannot go unpunished", he said in a speech from the White House press room. "It's simple: They have killed some of us, now let's kill some or all of them. I am nothing if not fair. Make no mistake: When I am through with those responsible, there will not even be one major global trading centre left standing in their country, and their trillion-dollar, secretive military hubs will be decimated."

The US and its allies give thumbs-up
to the death of more innocents.

"The attacks on New York and Washington were sneaky and vicious", he continued, "planned months in advance and calculated to take as many human lives as possible. So in order to teach these folks a lesson, we must do exactly the same thing to them. The world is witnessing the dawn of a new age of 'superterrorism', when men with no moral restrictions on mass killing will use weapons of mass destruction. Y'know, men like me."

His Vice-President Dick Cheney added, "Faced with all this death and carnage, Americans are demanding one thing: more of it. The people, through their representatives in the Government, have called out to us for a huge and expensive war. We cannot and will not let those calls go unheeded."

It is thought that top military brass are already formulating plans to bomb, flatten and otherwise lay waste to whatever country appears to match the description of "armed fanatics" issued by the FBI in their hunt for the killers.

A source close to General Colin Powell told reporters, "After careful consideration of the options over the last half hour, he has come to the conclusion that the best response would be a huge, drawn-out, unwinable ground war in or around the Middle East region. To do otherwise would be un-American."

Bush concluded with these remarks: "We must allow our hearts to be ruled by sentiment, not reason; by fear, not courage. Now is not the time to take pause and consider our place amongst the world's family of nations. Now is the time for cold, uncritical fury. Please, put your trust in me like you never did before.

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