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in this issue: Shaggy advises Bev: "Say it wasn't you" D-commerce boom attracts thousands Men await new skincare products, mental anguish Socialist worker party closes down world bank I'm not a person, I'm a top creative |
-New
products also promise mental torment and anguish Since the male clothing market reached full expansion in late 1998, retailers have been desperately seeking new ways to feed into male insecurity and turn it into cash. While most people recognise the phenomenon in females, males have so far escaped indoctrination - at least as far as the lucrative grooming market is concerned. Thecla
Cragashe of Morton Witter & Reindeer told the Evil Gerald why this
was so. "The approach obviously has to be different, or we risk
jeopardising our obscenely profitable 'being like a girl makes you a
faggot' tack. It calls for a considerable amount of coercion, emotional
blackmail and of course, blatant lying. Luckily, we're the experts on
all three." The
problem according to experts lies in the basic male set-up. With no
handbags, make-up and precious few hair accessories, males are in essence
low-maintenance - and that's bad news for those who want their money.
According to Cragashe, it will require "a healthy attitude shift
on society's part. We've asked for society's help making a buck here,
and apparently they're with us all the way". With young males a high-risk suicide category, the race is now on to help them convert their emotional inadequacies into a range of over-priced skincare products, before it's too late.
Now cosmetics industry insiders are determined that young men, already tormented by sexual guilt, acne-angst and fear of an unknown, omnipresent bogeyman, can now look forward the acute torture of advertisments promising "fresh, glowing skin", and "an end to unsightly facial hair - forever!". A
spokesman for young men just shrugged helplessly and moped around looking
for something to smash. |
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