World Bank has shut its doors for the last time following a petition
from the Socialist Workers party which requested them to do so. The
petition, complete with 238 signatures was handed to a security guard
at the world's leading bank on Friday afternoon. The guard then passed
it on to James Wolfensohn, the head of the organisation, who then made
the decision to shut the bank for good.
"We cannot operate in the light of such a petition", said
Max Johnston, Junior Vice Deputy President of the World Bank, "we
decided to cut our losses and just shut down".
Socialists have reacted with surprise, excitement and downright jubilance
at the decision. One of them, whose name the Evil Gerald can't quite
remember, remarked, "usually we are laughed at. Let's face it,
we are a bunch of drop-outs, so we were pretty surprised when they actually
Although 238 people signed the petition, it is believed that this figure
could have risen had it not been for several party splits which occurred
on the bus into town with the surveys. Several members were not happy
with the choice of location for the petition signing, arguing that to
stay on the footpath was "to bow to the oppression of car owners
who are probably considerably richer than us".
contretemps was followed by an attempt by one acitivist to 'reclaim'
the middle lane of O'Connell St outside the GPO. His condition was later
described as 'serious but stable'.
Three other members then left the bus due to
ideological differences with the bus driver. They claimed to know a
shortcut but their advice fell on deaf ears. It is expected that all
splinter groups will be dealt with in a wave of bloody fighting and/or
stern-letter-writing within the next few days.
The party has now set its sights on the global economy, and are hoping
to petition against it within the next week or so. "This time we
are hoping for at least 300 signatures", said a leading leftie,
before adding, "it would be great if we could close the World Bank
and the global economy in one week".
Meanwhile, the Brazilian government has halted the destruction of the
Amazonian rainforest after receiving what a spokesman described as an
'eye-opening' email. "It had obviously been forwarded a lot, because
it had loads of those little arrows at the side", the spokesman
"That means lots of people read it, or at least took the effort
to press 'forward'. We have no choice but to bow under this international
pressure. The rainforest must be saved".