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Co-worker either really sound or totally false Church to replace holy water with kombucha |
Customer service represen-tatives Mallory Hoonan, Sorcha Doyle and Patricia Farrelly, who periodically gather in the area between Doyle's cubicle and the window to discuss the failings of their colleagues, agreed that Smith-Higgins, a member of the accounts department and former college class-mate of Hoonan's and Farrelly's, was very probably a nasty cow, although there was a chance she was actually a warm and genuine person. "When I got back to work after the flu last week", Hoonan began, "Annie came up to me and was all like 'oh, are you feeling better, yeah it's awful isn't it, there must be something going around or something'. I was just 'Mmm, yes, a lot better, please fuck off'. Smarmy cow". Doyle agreed. "I told her I was in Dingle for the bank holiday weekend", she said, "and she started going on about how she just loves it there and all this. Then after exactly two minutes of this she was 'well, I'd better go. TG'd freak if I don't do this creditors list for him!' ". "It was so 'Worker-to-worker interaction cannot exceed acceptable limits' ", Doyle continued in a mimicked 'robotic' voice. "The two-faced wagon. Or maybe she just had to go, it's hard to say". Added Farrelly: "When Mom's car was in the garage and she had to use mine, Annie just offered to come by and pick me up in the mornings, even though it's like 15 minutes extra on the trip, just like that. And she was all, 'Do you want to go for lunch in that place where they do the noodle ciabattas?'. I was just going 'What's with the charm offensive?'. Bit weird, the whole thing". The
trio then agreed to act friendly towards Higgins-Smith until they could
find out exactly what she was up to. |
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According
to sources on the second floor of the Lucent building in Loughlinstown,
Co. Dublin on Monday, their co-worker Annie Smith-Higgins (left) is either
a lovely, really sound person or a totally false bitch. 
