Yes,
it's time your test your knowledge if any of the brand-new, as-yet-nonexistent
sports stadium (artist's impression, left) that's got everybody talking!
Answer
the following multiple choice questions to find out how closely you've
been following whatever we've been spoon-feeding your feeble mind on
the subject....
Q1.
As Ireland's new seat of sporting power the Bertie Bowl will:
A. Freeze the arse off of opposition and government spokeshumans faster
than a February morning's training session for Kilmacud Crokes,
B. Usher in a golden age of Irish sportsmanship in which GAA is consigned
to the dustbin of history and Bohs beat Manchester United in the final
of the Champions League in the affectionately titled Bertie Bowl in
2009, with patron and former Taoiseach Bertie Ahern looking proudly
upon his brainchild and receiveing a standing ovation from the 100,000-
strong crowd, while the worldwide media coverage secures Ireland`s first
ever Olympic games in 2016, or
C. Become little more than a large skip for builders` rubble from the
demolition of the Ballymun Towers with large a toxic incinerator thrown
in for good measure where amongst other things will be burnt the shitty
nappies of experimental genetically-scientized monkeys bred in an attempt
to create an Irish sporting master race.
Q2.
The Bertie Bowl will mostly be built with
A. Hay, sellotape and Lego,
B. The taxes of people who will never get to enter the stadium because
all the tickets will be allocated in huge blocks to disinterested corporate
backers who fail to show up leaving it empty of even the lack of atmosphere
they would have provided, or
C. The knowledge that we wouldn`t actually need to spend this 1.5 billion
pounds if only the government wasn`t so afraid of losing votes that
it forced the GAA to open its stadia (which were built with state money
anyway) to other sports.
Q3.
Despite having a state-of-the-art sporting facility in the Bertie
Bowl most Irelanders will
A. watch the games on the telly, complete with erudite commentary from
the late Jimmy Magee and Frank 'Frank' Stapleton,
B. Watch reruns of Friends instead, or
C. still only care when Manchester United, Liverpool or Celtic are playing
or the World Cup is on, with only a vague notion of the rules of rugby
when that is played but gives a shite anyway cos rugby is going to be
outlawed soon what with foot and mouth and the new human rights law
they're going to be bringing in if the news these days is anything to
be going by.
Time
to tot up your scores! If you answered mostly (A) you are a native of
Lusk. If you answered mostly (B)[the third option] you are currently
working as a property developer and becoming a millionaire by charging
exhorbitant rents to students and single mothers on the dole. If you
answered mostly (C) You are Bertie Ahern. If you answered mostly "The
situation in the North" you are doing the wrong quiz. If you are
still reading this you need a check-up.