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G8 leaders to hold future summits in online chat-rooms


A screen-shot of the secret trial summit

In the wake of the violent and photogenic protests that bedevilled the G8 summit in Genoa, it is believed that the heads of state have decided to hold future summits in internet chat-rooms. While no announcement has been made, the Evil Gerald managed to hack into a trial session involving the premiers, a transcript of which follows. Each head of state has assumed a chat-room nick-name for the purposes of secrecy.

....
Dubya: So I was like, No fucking way man, and they were like, yeah, we ARE against the educatoinal voucher scheme. I was just, What teh hell, talk to Dick about it.
Tony!Toni!Tone!: It must be so difficult being the President, George
Dubya: Oh Im sure it probly is. So where the rest of the guys?
Gerhard: Yes, for I think we must be discussing our progress on the Enhanced HIPC Initiative and -
*** Razz_Putin has joined #G8_secret ***
Razz_Putin: Alright lads, it's russia's greatest love machine.
Dubya: Woo-hoo!
*** High-fives Razz_Putin ***
Razz_Putin: Dubya, Tony, Gerhard, Noodlez.
Tony!Toni!Tone!: Yo.
Noodlez: Hello
Gerhard: Welcome, Mr President.
Dubya: Who we waitin for now?
Tony!Toni!Tone!: Well there's Jacques, and Silvio, and I'm sure there was someone else...
*** Jacques_2_the_max has joined #G8_secret ***
*** Silvio has joined #G8_secret ***

Jacques_2_the_max: Sorry we're late guys, we were, er, discussing the trade pact with China
Silvio: Yeah. The trade pact. Hi all.
Noodlez: Perhaps we can begin, then?
*** eminem_sucz43 has joined #G8_secret ***
eminem_sucz43: Did I miss anything?
Razz_Putin: Who's this guy?
eminem_sucz43: It's me, Jean Chretien!
Tony!Toni!Tone!: Who?
Gerhard: Who?
Jacques_2_the_max: Who?
Noodlez: Who?
Dubya: Who?
Razz_Putin: Who?
Silvio: Who?
eminem_sucz43: The Prime Minister of Canada.
Tony!Toni!Tone!: Ah right.
Dubya: Where?
Gerhard: We'lll pretend you didnt say that, George. Welcome, jean.
Dubya: Suits me. Can we get to it, cos Letterman starts in ten minutes.
Jacques_2_the_max: I got these great girly pics off the net today.
Dubya: Cool, DCC me.
Jacques_2_the_max: Yeah. check this one out. She's dirty. I know her..
Gerhard: Please, gentlemen, we have business to attend to.
Razz_Putin: Hey, you guys ever check out rotten.com? That shit is gross!
*** BClinton has entered #G8_secret ***
Tony!Toni!Tone!: Oh no.
BClinton: Hey guys, I heard there was a party on or something. Whassup?
Dubya: Shit.
Noodlez: Not this guy again.
...

At this point, this reporter was kicked out of the library and couldn't continue the surveillance.

 

 
 

 

 

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