G8
leaders to hold future summits in online chat-rooms
JCB
digger gently exfoliates Glen of the Downs
What
a Mao-thful! Gelatinous McAnimate praises a Restaurant Revolution
Northern
political leaders hark back nostalgically to heady days of 1998
'The
Monk' eats tasty dinner in post restaurant
Fine
Gael withdraw from General Election process
Record
bags mostly empty of records - study
"Gay
pigs" rapped by leading skanger
Bono
crouches and points... Proposed demolition of Milo O'Shea's eyebrows protested...
and more in News in Brief
Opinion:
I don't know what to wear to this anti-globalisation march
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Bono
crouches and points
As part of an ongoing effort to promote his band's new single 'Elevation',
U2 singer Bono (left) today crouched and pointed at various film and photo
cameras. Dressed like a stupid pimp in a black leather jump-suit and expensive
sun-glasses, the 45 year-old then opened his mouth wide and tilted his
head back. Observers remained puzzled as to the meaning of Mr. Vox's actions,
but noted that it was a continuation of the crouching, pointing and head-tilting
that marked the video
for 'Elevation', in which Bono also simulated being 'blown away' by the
power of his own music.
As
usual, the other band members stood slightly behind Bono, looking slightly
embarrassed (see right).
Proposed
demolition of Milo O'Shea's eyebrows protested
Government
plans to allow actor Milo O'Shea's eyebrows (left) be destroyed once their
owner has died have been denounced by the country's artistic and cultural
community, who have described the hirsute brows as 'a national treasure'.
A spokesman for An Taisce said, "The O'Shea eyebrows must be returned
to their native Ireland and afforded their due recognition. They are a
national treasure, having provided this country with entertainment and
valuable tourist revenue for generations". Irish Times culture critic
Aidan Dunne described in an open letter to the Seanad how the "lush,
hairy promontories vibrate querulously or vault upwards in mock indignation.
They embody youthful exuberance combined with the wisdom of age. More
essential now than ever before, O'Shea's eyebrows speak to a deeper identity
within us, bidding us pause, posing the oldest question".
And
finally...
Cows 'allowed remarry' in Austria. The Prime Minister described
the nation's bovine community as "at least as much a citizen as you
or I, if not more so" ... Thousands
gather to see sun appear over Offaly. The first 'totality' in the
county for thousands of years attracted scientists and local bumpkins
to a small field which was briefly illuminated by what ancient texts describe
as 'warm light'. Then it started to rain again ... 30,000 dead in Peruvian
bus-crash. The unlucky Andeans perished after the petrol-filled bus
careered into a football stadium full of orphans attending a blind-puppy-petting
fair. The bus crashed into a firework display or something, causing a
massive explosion captured by TV cameras and emailed around the world
by chuckling workers...New Product Launched. TD Liam Lawlor (no
fixed address) has been celebrated in soap by the makers of a brand new
cleansing product
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