Government pledges unaffordable housing

Nice: One more time, with feeling

Dear Geraldine

Spyware confirms Spyware company's suspicions

Saddam ready to inspect US weapons

Exclusive Gerald Preview of the new Lord of the Rings film! -"Spoilers"-

Ireland sets sights on Steam Scheme

BNFL apologises for leak

An interview with George Best's liver


I think really likes me

Dear Geraldine,

I have a problem, and I'm a bit embarrassed about it. I like this girl but we've never met. Her name is and she just keeps emailing me. Like the other day she sent me this really great message about how you can please your woman by gaining 2 - 4 inches: NATURALLY!!! For only $12.99 a month.

It doesn't bother her that we both seem to be in the same line of work. So I replied romantically to her message with an offer of Human Growth Hormone for only $7.25 a month which can increase breast size naturally in a matter of days!!! But she keeps on sending me these cryptic messages telling me that she knows what women really want and that SIZE MATTERS - PLEASE YOUR WOMAN - WANT TO KNOW THE SECRETS OF THE PROFESSIONALS??? Every time I email her back hotnhorny27 just sends me back some offers for allegedly free porn sites that turn out to ask you to pay. Is she trying to tell me something. Is she just leading me on or do you think there is a future in this relationship?

Yours pornographically,

PS: That's nor my real name but you can avail of my patented Penis enlargement balm at the specially reduced price of only $24.99 for six treatments. I can't believe the enlargement potential this product has possibly afforded me in certain circumstances which may not be similar to your own.

Dear Rapedteenslut(s)oncoke69,
You should immediately desist and completely cease from using our patented brand in any way. The Evil Gerald is the sole owner of the copyright to which you refer and failure to forebear from its use will result in the immediate issue of legal proceedings against you.

I look forward to receiving a positive reply in relation to this matter,

Kind Regards,




    Back issues     Breaking news     Story archives     About