Government pledges unaffordable housing

Nice: One more time, with feeling

Dear Geraldine

Spyware confirms Spyware company's suspicions

Saddam ready to inspect US weapons

Exclusive Gerald Preview of the new Lord of the Rings film! -"Spoilers"-

Ireland sets sights on Steam Scheme

BNFL apologises for leak

An interview with George Best's liver

 

 

BNFL admits:
"We should have covered it up"

"We want to come clean on this one," BNFL chief executive, Norman Askew, said at a press conference last night. "We have been remiss in our handling of our dangerous nuclear rubbish. Things would be a whole lot better if we had just covered it up."

He was speaking after British Nuclear Fuels admitted stupidity and gross incompetence in its fabrication of safety records relating to its shipment of plutonium to Japan for reprocessing. The shipment subsequently had to make the dangerous 10,000 mile journey back to Sellafield when the Japanese would not accept it.

"Yup, the Japs copped on that we were lying through our teeth. And I have to admit that we were wrong," said a visibly shaken Mr Askew, "to have owned up". He went on to say "I admit that my handling of this cover-up was appalling".

Meanwhile, when contacted by The Evil Gerald over a shortage of the iodine tablets meant to protect Irish citizens in the event of a nucelar accident at Sellafield, a spokes man for the Department of Energy said "Aha yeah! The tablets thing! I can't believe you went for that. We really didn't see that one coming. You'll have to excuse me for a minute while I pick myself up off the floor". He later joked that "We're all screwed anyway", before inquiring what we were doing "after".

 
 

 

 

Home
    Back issues     Breaking news     Story archives     About