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Spyware confirms Spyware company's suspicions

- Get out of Spyware, into hardcore porn, advises CEO.

As the first report into the phenomenon landed on his desk, the handsome businessman allowed himself a rare, and hence painful, smile. "I knew it," says Schatz. "I fucking knew it. Porn."

Crocware 5.7, the latest software release from the Crocware Corporation, has confirmed what the company now claims it knew all along: web surfers spend most of their personal web time looking for pornographic images and other adult content - the filthier the better. Such is the demand for this kind of crap that Crocware CEO, Dave Schatz, says anyone not now catering to this market is "batshit". "Spyware is a mug's game!" says the ebullient bloodsucker. "Why make software - a thankless, labour-intensive process - when any idiot can make a buck in porn?"

It's an argument that more and more traditional economists are calling "completely irrefutable". There are few left at Crocware Corp. who do not now believe that easily accessible, reasonable quality porn is the way forward.

"We said it to our investors right from the start of our spying-on-people's-computers-to-see-what-they-do-project. We said, 'You know, it's probably porn'. But we let them know: just to be sure, we're going to take your $5,000,000 and develop this product. Then we're going to surreptitiously install it on 20% of the personal computers out there. Once we've tracked sites visited, terms searched and such-like, we'll get back to you with some figures.

But just so you know - we're calling it for porn right from the start."

And now, it's a satisfied Dave Schatz that begins to pack his personal belongings into a cardboard box. His 18 co-workers have almost finished packing their own boxes. Everything is ready for a quick escape. The offices will move to Santa Barbara and shooting on "Spray Misty For Me" will begin within a week.




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