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  Nation stunned by sick Kenny jokes

An assembly of journalists was shocked to its core yesterday as it listened to Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny detail a sickening litany of racism, homophobia, misogyny and Fianna Fáil lies about the economy.

Laser Show
The group of politicos and journalists had gathered in Club M at the leader's behest. But after the horrific tirade, delivered in the form of a series of misguided anecdotes, some journalists walked out, leaving behind them in many cases unfinished pints, some of which were almost half full.

A visibly rattled pol corr recounted the nightmare incident. "He told this story, I suppose you could call it an anecdote - if you're a sick bastard like him. In this story some black guy called another black guy a "nigger". And it wasn't like "props to mah niggers" or a shout-out to "his nigger", or even some kind of "nigger"-to-"nigger" territorial warning - you know, like it normally would be. It was just...disparaging. I suppose Enda thought it was kind of ironic. Of course, that's the real irony.

Arrest Everyone
"I suppose he can't help what gets into his earholes on soundwaves. But to say it out loud like that - that's the real crime.

And Kenny's crimes didn't stop there. "He told us about a gay man that had called one of his gay friends "a silly faggot". And this woman who called [Enda's] wife a "bitch". I literally couldn't believe the things he was saying he'd heard someone else saying.

"Reported Speech"
With journalists now calling for a crackdown on holiday anecdotes, Kenny's future looks uncertain, even though all are agreed he is not a racist. "Hounding the few politicians who are not racist and have an awareness of central African politics and history out of Irish political life is a great idea," beamed an unnamed source.




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